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italiancutie413
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Name: Lindsay
Gender: Female
Interests: Dancing, Hanging out with friends, learning
Expertise: Dance, reading, writing, playing sports for fun, learning other languages, traveling the world!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research,Psychology
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/28/2006
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| Everything is fabulous I'm getting married when the love of my life is coming home in october. I love him so much:) http://allanwife.blogspot.com
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| doing well been back in ny life is good,. when you live a crappy life in a crappy country, you appreciate what you have that much more!
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| Before I go on, I just want to say that this will be a very negative blog , I am going through a hard time, and well my life has always been a struggle. Don't judge me and think ya right like she never knew a struggle, because I have battled many. So many through my life that when i talk to people and tell them what happened to me they say that is not fair! In my childhood of physical and verbal abuse from my parents, verbal abuse from the kids at school, and being held back in 2nd grade because i couldn't read. I had a speech problem this is what lead to my inability to read, and being held back is not a boost to one's ego. I also struggled in school and had an unidentified learning disability. They tested me and found me to have no learning disability. Anyway, I also had a jaw problem! Yes the fun never ends for lindsay! My jaw problem was so terrible that it hurt to shut my mouth , and my top and bottom teeth did not meet in what's called an open bite. Not an overbite. Anyway this caused pain for me, also i could not breathe through my nose because i had an unknown deviated septum. So i would sit with my mouth open and kids would tease me and tell me i was ugly and i was a bucktooth beaver, because as a child my teeth stuck out and i looked like i had snake's teeth it was horrible. Anyway, I could not bite into foods AT ALL with my jaw problem since you use your top and bottom teeth to bite into foods. Ya my dentist told my parents there was nothing wrong with me again doctors NOT knowing what they are talking about. So when i did not eat properly my parents would ridicule me and laugh at me and make fun of me and say "you are a pig eat correctly!" And i tended to eat fast so my sister would also call me a pig and i also seemed to have a lil bit of fat on my stomach but it was mostly baby fat but my sister and mom told me i was fat and needed to lose weight. Along with the torture of me not being able to focus and do my homework at night that was also a screaming match. ugh. As a child with all this negativity in my life i was a loner, i had 2 best friends and that was it and i stayed with them, other than them i was very quiet and kept to myself because i was extremely insecure. No one liked me and still today i have insecurity problems because of my past no matter what the exterior might look like TODAY. Moving into the future a bit they finally discovered I had an open bite, and that it could only be corrected through orthognactic surgery plus braces. They also found out i did have a learning disability. I had braces twice in my life, and the surgery lasted 9 hours and for about a month i was on a liquid diet i could not eat solids because i had a splint between my teeth. It was not lovely at all, i thought people were trying to kill me with the meds i was on,had awful nightmares, and i choked on my own blood several times and one time almost died. Through the years as an escape i always dreamed of italy. Being in italy living there, etc. i wonder what it'd be like i thought, i used to cry and look at pictures day dreaming that i was there. When you have a f8cked up life and have suicidal thoughts at a young age, hope is the onnly thing you have. It was my dream to go to italy but of course that got crushed too. I was placed with these horrible people in italy as an exchange student when i was in high school. They were so mean to me i felt like i was in prison, they yelled at me for not talking enough, they would lose their tempers and scream and when i would try to look up the word in the dictionary my host father would take the book out of my hands and throw it. They were so cruel to me , grabbing me by the arm, screaming in my face, etc . that one day i blew i couldn't take it anymore, and i cursed at them. They used that against me to get me sent home. But even if i did not curse my only options were to stay with that family and keep getting treated terribly or to go home. What options! Rotary did not even try to help me get another family. ugh. I have always regretted that day, and told myself i would go back. I have on vacation but its' not the same. I missed a once in a lifetime opportunity to LIVE there! College was awful first college people spread untrue rumors about me, i had a boyfriend deployed, i had no friends. 2nd college was ok, 3rd college was awful but at least i graduated, but htat was a process and a lot of heartache of "you can't graduate" blah blah blah. I worked at t his one place and basically the people i worked with repeated sh8t and got me in trouble, and um my manager was a psycho b8tch and people bossed me around so i lost that job. It's like whenever i have a job it NEVER works. Now I am here teaching in taiwan. Just my luck i get off the plane i have swollen feet from it and i have a cold. The swollen feet get so big and sore that it is so painful to walk and unbearable. Anyway, i walked very slow and the parents complained to the managers and well li lost that job because the parents refused to have me teach their kids cuz i was not "enthusiastic" enough. They also thought i was pregnant cuz i walked slow? THe managers tried to tell them that i was sick but the parents did NOT care. as8holes. So then i got sent to another school , another contract broken. I was told that i would get at least 70 hours. Ya that didn't happen! Now he's telling me that he can't give me those hours that he can only give me part time and i'll have to get part time job besides that. urghhhhh. Contracts mean sh8t here i guess! And now my fabulous(sarcasmmmmmmm times a million) recruiter is trying to put the blame on me saying he never had this problem etc. blah blah blah. Ya way to make a girl feel good by putting the blame on her you as8hole! He got me these two awful jobs and he's blaming me? whatever. I hate my life, it's official. I wish i would die. I predicted this would happen. Because you knonw why? I told my mom that whenever i am happy, somethingn always has to happen to take that happiness away. And look i was right. wtf wtf wtf. Why am i allive! my mom thinks i should try to stay here um i don'tknow about that one!
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| 4 taiwan! I naweek omggg hehe. so excited and scared all at the same time:)
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| MOVING!!!!!!!TO TAIWAN! To teach english to children! I am so excited! :) Feel free to ask any questions since people have been super excited thinking it's awesome and asking lots of questions hehe
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